September: New Year Vibes

September has always had a bit of a New Year feeling for me.

Perhaps that's inevitable when you work in Higher Education. The academic year begins another cycle, routines change and, after the summer, there's often a natural sense of starting again.

So in this episode, I'm using that moment to invite you to notice some of the patterns that have become established in your life and work, and ask whether they're still serving you.

What happens when someone makes the familiar "call"?

We all develop patterns of call and response.

Someone asks for help, so you automatically say yes. Something goes wrong, so you step in and fix it. Someone is unhappy, so you try to make it better. Your boss is stressed, so you speed up. There's too much work, so you work longer hours.

These patterns aren't necessarily wrong. Most of them developed because, at some point, they were useful.

The question is whether they're still useful now, or whether they've become so automatic that you're no longer consciously deciding how you want to respond.

Start by noticing, not fixing

The first step isn't deciding that you need to stop doing all of these things.

It's simply noticing.

What do you do on autopilot? What situations trigger a familiar response? Are there particular people whose behaviour seems to create the same response from you every time?

Try to bring a reporter's eye to it rather than turning the exercise into another reason to criticise yourself. Once you can see the pattern clearly, you have more choice about what happens next.

If you find yourself wanting to rush straight from noticing a pattern to changing everything, Episode 20: Why Habit Change Feels So Gross explores why changing familiar behaviours can feel so uncomfortable, even when we know the new behaviour will serve us better.

Listen to Episode 20: Why Habit Change Feels So Gross here.

What is the old pattern giving you?

Before you change something, it's worth asking what you're getting from the existing pattern.

It might be comfort. Control. Familiarity. Perhaps it supports a particular story you've carried about the sort of person you are.

Changing the pattern might therefore require you to give something up. Sometimes that's physical comfort. Sometimes it's the ease of operating on autopilot. And sometimes it's loosening your attachment to other people's expectations of who you're supposed to be.

Choose, then practise

Once you've noticed and understood the pattern, you have a choice.

You might decide that the existing response still works for you. That's fine. The important difference is that you're choosing it intentionally rather than criticising yourself every time it happens.

Or you might choose a different response.

That's when practice begins. Each time the familiar call appears, you choose the new response again. And again. And again.

Eventually, what required conscious effort becomes the new automatic pattern.

And if you need some support while you're putting in those repetitions, Episode 7: How to Encourage Yourself explores how to keep yourself moving when doing something differently feels difficult.

Listen to Episode 7: How to Encourage Yourself here.

Ready for the next step?

If you're thinking about your next step into leadership, you can find out more about Getting Ready for Leadership here:

Getting Ready for Leadership

Got a question?

Many episodes of Management Matters begin with themes emerging from my coaching conversations and questions from listeners.

If there's a management, leadership or career question you'd like me to explore in a future episode, I'd love to hear from you.

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